Fed up Hearts star James Penrice feels he’ll need to chop his arms off in order to escape punishment for handball.
The Jambos left-back was penalised against St Johnstone for handball in the penalty area, a crime he feels is getting harder and harder to avoid.
It allowed the Perth Saints to score from 12 yards and level the game up at 1-1 after Penrice had opened the scoring for Hearts with a bullet header.
But Hearts found a much-needed winner via Blair Spittal’s thunderous volley and it lifted them off the bottom of the Premiership table ahead of Boxing Day’s Edinburgh derby.
Penrice has already been at the centre of handball penalty drama against Celtic in September when he was penalised for an outstretched arm.
He suffered the same consequence against St Johnstone and it’s fair to say the full-back – who turned 26 on Sunday – is feeling exasperated.
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Penrice on Hearts handball vs St Johnstone
Penrice told the Edinburgh Evening News: “At this point, I’m just going to chop my arms off, I think. Honestly, I’m sick of it. I’ve seen it so late. One of their strikers goes to head it and he misses it, and I just think it’s going through and it hits my arm.
“It does hit my arm but, at this point, the boys are going to get me a pair of gloves for Christmas. Honestly, it’s ridiculous.
“At half-time, I was thinking: ‘Right, brilliant, I’ve scored.’ Then we come back out, I give away a pen, and I was thinking: ‘Somebody’s up the stairs doing something to me. I’ve got a voodoo doll somewhere, somebody’s giving me pens.’
“But, look, I’m buzzing, Blair has pulled me out of the hole and we get the three points.”
Penrice: ‘You’ve got to be kidding me’
Penrice now thinks the handball rule is so harsh that players will now need to run with their arms glued to their sides to avoid punishment.
He continued: “It’s difficult because we’re going to get to a point where it’s going to be that you just run about with your arms at your side. That’s the way I’m feeling right now.
“As soon as the ball comes in the box, just whack my arms at the side. It’s so unnatural. I think he’s so close to me that, when he goes to try and head it, it puts me off because I think it’s running through.
“It’s going to get to a point where it’s just going to be boys running about with their hands at their side.
“I knew it hit my hand, to be fair. We went on the attack and then it went out for a throw, and then he whistled and I was like: ‘You’ve got to be kidding me.’ I’ll look at it back and see but it is difficult.
“Nobody’s intentionally wanting to go and handle the ball. I’m not trying to stop an attack or stop a chance. It’s hit me and it’s difficult to get out of the way, but obviously I’m going to need to try.”